suffering &

when i was a kid i went to summer camp at southampton college. my most vivid memories of this camp involved snack time. the juice came in kegs, my favorite was grape, it was so neon and tasted like raw sugar.
one of my friends at camp was yasmin, she lived next to red lobster on the highway. i went to her house once for a sleepover. her house was like a log cabin, full of adventure. thinking back now it's much more than what it really was, i am imagining a castle made out of tree bark, with carpets made of very green moss.

the time of the sleepover we went to the beach the next day. the bay was FILLED with jellyfish, we couldn't even swim. the water was swollen with their bodies. it was like wading around in cake batter.
yasmin got stung by a red jellyfish and then we'd had enough. we dug two huge giant pits in the sand. one for red one for white. we got nets and skimmed the jellyfish out of the water in large numbers. they got separated by color into the pits, the white to the left and red to the right. we let the white jellyfish die gently, because they don't sting. the red ones we cut into a million peices with sticks, we hurt them because they hurt her. we killed them all and then buried the evidence in the sand. this was our holocaust.

i think about this often. i would like to say i'm sorry.